Co-Opting Hate?

I recently received a bit of education on how deep the feelings go when it comes to gay people co-opting the Civil Rights Movement by saying the LGBT Movement is the same. After living here in Georgia for over six years, I have been given an intense education on the Civil Rights Movement and what not to say that would make African-Americans think I’m trying to hijack their successes, or saying my strugglers are like theirs. However, it appears that I still needed a bit more education in this area.

At a recent gathering of the Midtown Neighborhood Association’s monthly Safety Meeting, I was an attendee because they planned on discussing prostitution, specifically transgender prostitutes. There has been a flood of letters to the Editor at SoVo where some people not only used derogatory language to describe transgender prostitutes, but in essence, vilifying the entire transgender community. I felt I needed to be at this meeting to “clarify” a few things.

Office Darlene Harris, the LGBT Liaison for the Atlanta PD, stood and began the discussion, pointing out that many of the transgender people working the streets are there because of job discrimination. Some are in need of their GED in order to get a job.

Afterwards, I stood and held a picture of my friend Alice Johnston who took her life in December of 2002 after being turned down by all the women’s shelters here in Atlanta. I added that even though Alice had a degree in Library Science, was a 20-year Army veteran, a computer technician and programmer, she still was reduced to working the streets because of transgender job discrimination. Alice’s picture transfixed the people that evening.

Later in the meeting, someone else once again broached the subject of transgender prostitutes, which gave me a chance to point out that there had been some nasty language that came out of MNA in regards to transgender people. Then I made the statement that caused a friend to approach me after the meeting was over. I said, “For someone to refer to me with male pronouns, it’s the same as using the N-word with African-Americans.”

My whole purpose in using that statement was to make a comparison with something that is well-known to many people with something that is not so well-known. My intension was to compare the feelings I have when someone belittles me with the feelings told to me by several African-American friends and not to “co-opting” the entire Civil Rights Movement. Little did I know that I was doing just that by making such a comparison.

As a young person, my Southern-raised father quickly schooled me on why no one should ever use the N-word. I learned so well that I cannot even bring myself to type the word for this or any other article. When my sons got old enough to be exposed to that word, I told them in no uncertain terms that they will never use it, ever. When I move to Atlanta in 2000, I received a first-hand explanation on the history of that word and how it cuts deeply into the hearts of African-Americans.

When my African-American friends described to me how the N-word makes them feel, I knew that I had experienced the same kind of wrenching feeling when people deliberately referred to me with male pronouns. This is why I made the comparison at the meeting, not realizing that I was encroaching onto their version of hate like many gay people try to encroach onto the Civil Rights Movement. It’s true that some famous Civil Rights leaders have compared the struggle of gay Americans with that of African-Americans, but they earned the right to make that comparison. The rest of us haven’t.

This experience has made me realize that I have to be careful when making any references to the struggles of African-Americans when it comes to the struggles of LGBT people. Even though the motivation someone has to belittle a person is the same and the end result feelings they evoke are the same, the path their hate takes is different. In my opinion, comparing our struggles with the Civil Rights Movement is one thing, but comparing the feelings brought on by hateful words and actions is totally different and acceptable in my eyes. Apparently, when it comes to this issue, because I’m not African-American, my opinion cannot count. I have to continue to remind myself of this daily.