Do most GLBT people really care about Marriage?

Since the turn of the 21^st Century, every time a person picks up a gay newspaper or magazine, they cannot help but read articles about gay marriage. It’s become the most talked about subject by Gay Americans as the war in Iraq is with straight Americans. The subject has even filled pages of every mainline press and taken up minutes on every television news show in this country.

This obsession about marriage by Gay Americans has become so all-encompassing that practically every other issue facing the GLBT community takes a back seat. Employment protection, HIV/AIDS research, hate crimes legislation, domestic partner benefits, insurance issues and adoption protection are only addressed when they want to be reactive and not proactive. This single subject has derailed the movement that started at the Compton Cafeteria Riots in 1966 and the Stonewall Riots in 1969.

One only has to see who screams the loudest to see why our community is stuck in this quagmire, much like our military is in Iraq. The opposition to same-sex marriage comprises of the loudest religious hate groups and political right-wing zealots who have the most clout in this country. For the most part on the pro side, the debate is being blindly driven by rich, white gay men with the biggest bully pulpits in the GLBT community, along with gay politicians and gay advocacy organizations. These two behemoth groups beat on each other with such force that the WWF looks like a Southern women’s tea party by comparison. Other concerns and other people in the GLBT community get crushed in the process.

Don’t get me wrong, this country has many good people working on all of the other issues I mentioned above. The problem is, they don’t own gay newspapers or magazines like those who love to rant about not having same-sex marriage every time they tickle the keyboard “ivories.” They are also not gay elected officials or heads of national and local corporations disguised as GLBT advocacy groups. The fat cats with the biggest distribution lists drown the voices of those who work on homeless issues for transgender people or care for those who have HIV. There are exceptions, but not many.

In spite of what the “leaders” of the GLBT community want us to believe, the decision to get married for most gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people ranks far below deciding on what deodorant to buy. Many of us can easily say, “Been there. Done that. Got the tee-shirt and now using it as a dish rag.” We are more concern with finding a job, or keeping the job we have, finding doctors who consider practicing medicine rather than discriminating, or going the grocery store without getting beaten to a pulp. First and foremost, all we really want is to have a safe and secure life, with a roof over our heads and food on the table. Marriage doesn’t mean diddlysquat compared to that. People can live without marriage, but not without food. How much more simpler can it get?

The “same-sex-marriage-jacking” of the real concerns of the GLBT community has to stop, but it won’t anytime soon. As long as hate groups and self-righteous political figures see this as an easy way to gain popularity by hooking the American voters with this wedge issue, and as long self-absorbed local and national not-so-diverse advocacy groups take that hook and swallow it completely, the issues most GLBT people really care about will continued to be ignored. While same-sex marriage may take several decades to be fully accepted throughout this country, our people will continue to die everyday because the rich Gay Americans focus their efforts elsewhere. A piece of paper called a Marriage Certificate has become more important than the lives of this community.